Funny InuOneshots
by InuyashaWifey
Summary: Silly situations that happened in the lives of the Inuyasha characters.
1. Bigger Boobs

Fresh from the shower, Kagome stood in front of the mirror complaining to her husband, Inuyasha, that her breasts were too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, he uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.

"If you want your breasts to grow, then everyday take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, she fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" She asked.

"They will grow larger over a period of years" Inuyasha replied chuckling.

Kagome stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts bigger over the years?"

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again.


	2. Kagome and Kikyou

**TWO WOMEN MEET IN THE AFTERLIFE....**

1st woman: "Hi! My name is Kikyou..."

2nd woman: "Hi! I'm Kagome...How'd you die?"

Kikyou: "I froze to death..."

Kagome: "How horrible!!!"

Kikyou: "It wasn't so bad...After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death....What about you?"

Kagome: "I died from a massive heart attack...I suspected my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But, instead I found him all by himself in the den watching TV."

Kikyou: "So, what happened?"

Kagome: "I was so sure that there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking...I ran up to the attic and searched down into the basement..Then, I went through every closet and couldn't find her.. Then, I got so upset, I had a heart attack, and died, and that is why I am here."

Kikyou: "So why didn't you look in the freezer, then we would both still be alive!"


	3. Wait 'til You See My

Miroku enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman, with long brunette hair, sitting at a nearby table all alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her knowing that, if she accepts it, she is his.

The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the woman, Sango, saying this is from the gentleman over there.

Sango looks at the wine and sends a note over to Miroku. The note reads:

_For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants._

Miroku, after reading her note, chuckles, and sends a note of his own back to her, and it read:

_Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari, a BMW 850iL and a Mercedes 600SL in my garage, and I have over twenty-five million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off. JUST SEND THE BOTTLE BACK._


	4. Senior Moments

_At 967 years of age, the full demon, Inutaisho, married Izayoi, a lovely, human 26 year old._

Since her new husband is so old, Izayoi decides that after their wedding she and Inutaisho should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Izayoi prepares herself for bed and the expected "knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Inutaisho, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Inutaisho takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Izayoi hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Inutaisho. Again he is ready for more "action".

Somewhat surprised, Izayoi consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Inutaisho kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it - Inutaisho is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And, once again they enjoy each other.

But as Inutaisho gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him,

"I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a twenty-third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Inutaisho."

Inutaisho, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Izayoi and says,

"You mean I was here already?"

_The moral of the story: Senior moments have their advantages._


End file.
